Wednesday, October 1, 2008

INDIA 2008

I'm so thankful that I can see clearly. What I mean is, in a moment of desperation, sadness, frustration, anger, resentment, spite, shame, stress, loneliness, heartache, and so many other emotions that I may feel something terrible, I am able to step back and ask myself, "Why should I allow my mind to dwell on the hold onto those emotions. Why should I damage my spirit by wallowing in self-pity or hold a grudge for even a moment longer.

I must say, I am thankful for one of my old roommates whom I lived with in Nashville, Tennessee. During that time I began to start breaking down walls of ignorance and meeting more closely with the realty of things. In other words, I was doing some growing up.

I'll never forget her profound words, "Jen, just shake it off."

All this to say, that as I'm preparing for this trip I find my thoughts leaning towards, "how is this going to work?" "am I really able?" "what if something changes?" "what will I do?" These thoughts stir up worry in my spirit. I plan on taking this trip in the middle of my final graduate year. Graduate school is enough a challenge in itself and I sometimes think maybe pursuing all these things was not such a good idea.

I start to get angry, frustrated, stressed. Careless words have been on the edge of my tongue and a few have escaped out loud. Then I realize, "Shake it off." Why worry about what tomorrow brings? There are enough worries about today. Why worry about how things will happen and whether I will succeed. God has prepared the way for me and in Him I already have the victory.

I'm thankful that I can see clearly. When I find myself beginning to sulk and complain, I can see that there is warfare over my spirit and see the choice I have before me - grumble and give Satan the foothold or shake it off with a little faith.

I am hopeful, happy, confident, at peace, grateful, open-minded, glorious, relaxed, loved, overjoyed!

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